Size and what it matters to me

“got called fat by a paper & must say,on a bad day & just in general being a girl & getting called fat can suck. but more importantly,the main thing that concerns me is that one of you,a normal shaped non model sized girl could read that shit & feel down on yourselves too! so just incase,it’s ok to be a size 12 & you don’t have to be hungry to be happy! riot not diet 4 life. V was so much fun,can’t wait for more tour.” Kate Nash on facebook

Being a girl is pretty hard, you have to look pretty, be kind and nice, be individual and just yourself plus: be skinny.

Now that the new year has come everyone is talking about getting rid of some extra pounds (mostly) she doesn’t need. In the bookstores of my town are huge windows full of diet books, health books, yoga(instead THIS is healthy and well for you) and so on, I could write a whole page about it.

I was always pleased with my body, when I was a young girl I always used to say “I want to get bigger, I’m too skinny”… I was really skinny as a girl, I could eat what I wanted, I didn’t become bigger.I did sports and have gardeners as parents, maybe that is a reason why I didn’t really become big at all (although I had bad eating habits when I haven’t been a vegetarian yet)

I think when I turned 20 that changed. I still ate a lot but, instead of all the years before, I gained some pounds. And didn’t really care. I didn’t have a scale to weight myself, if I still fit in my favorite trousers it’ll be fine… But also that changed.

So I put it lower and lower in the drawer so I won’t be reminded of this really cool trousers, I still don’t fit in anymore. Do I want to fit in again? Kind of…

Even if I am always saying I am happy with my body, my size and my heaviness lightness, I am not. I don’t know, when this change came, but it did. And I am here to say it out loud. When the clock strikes six in the afternoon I am always thinking about food: I am hungry and I say to myself: No, don’t eat. But why??? And I have to say, I am not “fat” and I don’t care if others are.

I think it comes with EVERYBODY TALKING about sizes and pounds and whatever… No one is really talking about feeling well and happy in their bodies but being skinny… I still don’t get why my mind is also spinning around that, but it is. And I am trying to change that.

I have a normal size, some little curves, they could be more I suppose :D

When I saw the ad of this issue http://issuu.com/plusmodelmag/docs/plus_model_magazine_plus_size_january_2012/61

I was so happy, that some people really think about what lifestyle and fashion magazines can do to women.

I’ve just been reminded of a photography of Kate Winslet in some bullshit magazine, where she wears a gorgeous dress(I love the idea of this dress!) by Stella McCartney and the category she was in was like: Do and Don’t.

She, in sight of the magazine, was a don’t. In their opinion she was looking fat in that dress, but actually it fitted her perfectly just as sewn for her body. They just don’t see that, clothes actually have to “fit” people and not being lose around them. What do you think? Is she “fat” in that dress? Come on!

But there is hope: Some magazines in Germany (all around the “Brigitte“) are only advertising with “No-Models”, normal women like you and me, and I think this is the future I am talking about hopefully! And also the Suicide Girls (Love ’em!) also host normal and plus sized girls, and no models :)

So I have to say a few more little words to all these magazine authors:
Shut up and fuck the hell off!

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2 Comments

Filed under stranger than fiction

2 responses to “Size and what it matters to me

  1. Anna-Lisa

    “No one is really talking about feeling well and happy in their bodies but being skinny…”
    Yes, this is such an important point you state here. It is all about being happy, life, I mean. It is really sad, how everybody is influenced by this big-skinny discussion. I mean, I am too, I guess, at times…but. Well! Sometimes I enjoy being ‘not skinny’. Because I can enjoy life.

  2. Yes! That’s the point, I can enjoy my life as well, and that is the greatest thing you can do!
    ;)

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